The right side of history, the wrong side of the border

A Canadian trapped in an American body:

...

"Well, I am a recovering liberal, and Sept. 11 is my dry date.

"That morning, my leftist life flashed before my eyes. I remembered to my shame all of those 'Yankee, go homes' I had chanted as a Reagan-era peacenik. And rolling my eyes at the tacky teddy bear memorials at the Oklahoma City bombing and muttering, 'You would think a building never had blown up before.'

"How sophisticated I was. And how sick.

...

"I have taken to wearing a Stars and Stripes scarf. When asked about it, I explain that I use it to strangle old draft dodgers."

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